What's an Observation?

To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

When we think and communicate based on pure observation, needs and requests, we increase the likelihood for movement, connection and fulfillment.

For the sake of increasing fulfillment, I invite you to replace the use of "observation" as it is colloquially used (to mean "to state an opinion or conclusion") with a sense of speaking about the world in observations that are without conclusion, assessment, opinion, or judgement.

Observation is:
- the act of making and recording a measurement. Ex: "Three times this week". Therefore "always", "never", and "sometimes" are not observations, but assessments. "You never XYZ," is not an observation. "Twice last week you didn't XYZ...," may be an observation.

Observation is:
- recognizing and noting some fact or occurrence. Ex: "The door closed." Therefore, interpretation is not the same as observation, "you slammed the door" is an interpretation. "I have not heard you tell me back what I'm saying" is an observation. "You're not listening," is an interpretation.

Observation is:
- recognizing and noting some fact or occurrence. Ex: "I asked twice and twice he said 'no'," is an observation. "He is stubborn," is a label, an assessment, an opinion, a judgment.

Observation is:
- recognizing and noting some fact or occurrence. Ex: "I have met 2 people who earned more than I earn who I did not like," is an observation. "Rich people are mean, they think they're entitled," are generalizations, categorizations (ie: assessments, not observations).

Observation is:
- recognizing and noting some fact or occurrence, without making meaning. Ex: "1000 suicide bombers died last year," is an observation. "The world is being overrun by suicide bombers," is an extrapolation of you making meaning, your opinion / conclusion that doesn't represent a fact.

Observation is:
- free of judgment, opinion, analysis, assessment, generalization, or interpretation. Ex: "I observe that 3 days last week you told me you were busy," is an observation. "I observe that she's pathological," is not an observation, it's an assessment, an analysis, regardless of the fact that the word 'observe' is being used. "She is wearing a red hat," is an observation. "She's dressed strangely," is an opinion.

Think of it this way - if someone can argue with you on your statement or debate the validity of it, or if it could not be recorded on a video or on tape, then it's likely not an observation.

How are your powers of observation?

FACT OR THOUGHT?
For each of these sentences would you assess it as an observation or as an opinion? If you think the sentence is an opinion, how might it be changed to qualify as an observation?

- The world is falling apart.
- I'm having a bizarre day.
- You're just PMSing.
- He's difficult.
- He hung up on me 3 times! He's a jerk!
- You're a terrific dancer.
- You're the best dancer I've ever danced with.
- I love how you waltz.
- I notice I'm obsessing.
- I notice I'm spending more than 2 hours a day thinking about it.
- I observed that he was too impatient to talk to me.
- She said it in a threatening tone of voice. Everyone would agree!

Yes.

"If you think you can, or if you think you can't, you're right."
-- Henry Ford

Torment and Inspiration

From Chuck Lorre:

I recently spoke with a man who is tormented. He thinks he is tormented because he thinks he has a tormentor. He cannot think of a scenario wherein he leaves his tormentor and thus ends his torment. He thinks his only path to serenity is to destroy his tormentor. He thinks the appropriate weapon to accomplish this task is a lawyer. This got me to thinking that perhaps thinking was the real source of his torment. But how can that be? Don't we value thinking? Don't we worship great thinkers? How can this God-given gift that separates us from the animals be deemed a curse? Isn't the alternative to thinking, stupidity? Or is there another alternative? Ask yourself this question, "When I have a good idea, do I think my way to it, or does it just hit me?" Which brings me to the theme of this vanity card (finally). I'd like to suggest that we all have inspiration at our disposal at all times. How does inspiration work? How the hell would I know? I just know it's there. Nothing else but inspiration explains a great work of art, and nothing else but thinking could be responsible for making all those "Lethal Weapon" movies. I mentioned all this to the tormented man. I told him that perhaps he could find a solution to his troubles by quitting thinking and being open to inspiration. He said he thought I was a moron and threw his shoe at me. It just hit me.

Meaning of Success

from Chuck Lorre

"It's strange to think of one's life as analogous to climbing a mountain. It's even stranger to discover, after years of striving to reach the summit, that it's the wrong mountain. This is what happened to Dave. Dave spent twenty years climbing the wrong mountain. And yet he had to consider it time well-spent. After all, no one could have told him he was relentlessly scaling the wrong pile of dirt (not that they didn't try). Dave had to find out for himself. Which is why, in the perverse way life happily screws with us, it turned out to be exactly the right mountain. In order to see things clearly, to understand the actuality of his existence, Dave had to crawl up a treacherous incline that only led to happiness in his poorly-formed, childish dreams. There was never an alternative mountain for ol' Dave, because he was incapable of envisioning one. So he climbed. Until one day, he looked around and saw that he'd reached the top. The pinnacle. The apex. The place where eagles crap. And that's when he noticed the mountain he was always meant to climb far off in the distance. And he noticed something else... everyone climbing that mountain was truly happy. So Dave did the only thing a sane man could do in his situation, he sent word to those people and told them they were on the wrong mountain."

Living Alive

"He not busy being born is busy dying."
-- Bob Dylan

Unconventional

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
-- Margaret Mead

Veils...

The veils begin to lift, you know, once defenses begin to fall.
Be vulnerable.
The Universe

image thanks to dreamstime

The Present - take 2

"We know nothing of tomorrow; our business is to be good and happy today."

-- Sydney Smith

An Opening for Values-Based Awareness

"Chaung Tzu insisted that judgments like right and wrong, good and evil, fair and unfair were just mental habits, ideas that had gained currency through repeated used rather than through inherent truth."

J. Geary, Geary's Guide to the World's Great Aphorists, p. 227

Let's try on the coat for a moment and imagine this to be true. If "good/bad", "right/wrong", "fair/unfair" are simply cultural habits - what's the alternative?

On what basis do we assert "good/bad", "right/wrong", "fair/unfair"? What barometer do we use to measure this?

If we had a more powerful, more life-serving way of expressing, what would it be?

Sending playful smiles,
Gail

Impossible? Too hard? Etc?

"Argue for your limitations and sure enough they will be yours."

-- Richard Bach

Gratitude and Celebration

"The world is a rose; smell it and pass it to your friends."
- Persian Proverb

"Wisdom begins in wonder."
- Socrates

"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
- Eden Phillpotts

On Thriving and Transformation

"You and I possess within ourselves, at every moment of our lives, under all circumstances, the power to transform the quality of our lives."

-- Werner Erhard

Campbell's Bliss, aka Gross, Subtle, Causal Alignment

"Follow your bliss. There's something inside you that knows when you're in the center, that knows when you're on the beam or off the beam. And if you get off the beam to earn money, you've lost your life. And if you stay in the center and don't get any money, you still have your bliss."

-- Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

Decisions Decisions Decisions

“High achievers spot rich opportunities swiftly, make big decisions quickly and move into action immediately. Follow these principles and you can make your dreams come true.”

- Robert H. Schuller


I love this quote; to me it translates to "successful people make decisions quickly". Let's not make the mistake though of confusing wide-reaching, systemic decisions with low-risk, low-impact decisions that affect only a small circle in the system.

When I'm making general, day-to-day, low-impact decisions, I try to remember that I want to thrive, and life is short. So my practice is to notice when I'm hedging or dragging my feet, and just pick a choice. Just pick one. I realize I can always correct the handlebars on the bike if I find I'm going too far out of the way of my intended direction. But if I sit on the bike mulling over which direction to set the handle bars, I'm never getting anywhere.

More systemic-impacting decisions I'll take more time to do due diligence, but still, the idea is to inform myself to the best of my abilities in a reasonable amount of time and then choose, knowing I may always adjust the direction later if new information comes in.

A multi-millionaire I once worked with said, "Successful people make decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. Unsuccessful people take forever to make up their minds and then change their mind continually."

Hrm...should I or shouldn't I take this advice...hrm...let me think...

*wink*

How might I / you / we apply this to a more powerful, effective, thriving life for us, our families, our work places, and our planet?

Cheers to living alive!
Warmly,
Gail

The Present

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
-- Rita Mae Brown

Living in "the now"...what a gift, what joy, what appreciation and gratitude...I suppose that's why they call it The Present.

Aristotle Quote - On Thriving

"Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. "

- Aristotle

Beginners' Mind

I hope this inspires you to live out loud as much it does me. Enjoy! Gail

NATASHA BEDINGFIELD - "Unwritten", lyrics

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Funny Quotes on Health

It's been an interesting 36 hours for me, lots of healing work. Right when I think I've plucked all the apples that there are to pluck in my twisted little psyche, I suddenly learn I've only pulled the low-hanging fruit and find another ripe one.


Woo hoo AFGO!

(AFGO - Another F#$%ing Growth Opportunity)


So while the newly poured cement of my healing work is in curing mode (heh), here are a few fun quotes about health.

Enjoy!
Gail

• Happiness is good health and a bad memory. -- Ingrid Bergman

• Forget health clinics and gyms. Sex is the best cure. One good night of sex and your problems are gone. -- Grace Jones

• According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don't worry lonely women, you'll be dead soon. -- Tina Fey

Schuller Quote

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”
- Robert H. Schuller

I have this as a mantra on my calendar. How might you include this question each day toward opening more of your life?

10 Keys for Finding Happiness

Delighted to share this with you,
Gail

http://lightisreal.com/findinghappiness.html

Spiritual Teachers?

Often someone, somewhere, will ask me, "Who are your favorite spiritual teachers?" I then show my depth of intelligence, saavy and experience by staring blindly at the question-asker, mouth agape.

Finally I have an answer! Have you met Chuck Lorre?

Here's my favorite CL teaching of the day.

Enjoy!
Gail

CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, # 57

One of the great blessings of getting older is realizing, without shame and remorse, what an idiot you've been at earlier stages of your life. I can think of nothing that breeds humility better than this on-going epiphany. The knowledge that with a few exceptions, I was the human version of the "don't pass" bet on a craps table, is oddly comforting. Let's take a look. In 1977 I tried to talk a friend out of investing all his money in stores that only sold running shoes. A few years later, I told anyone who would listen that the female singer of "Lucky Star" was a one-hit wonder, while the singer of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" was here to stay. I saw no future in bottled water or fancy coffee shops. Cellular phones? What for? I already have a phone. And let's not forget that in 1988 I read William Gibson's "Neuromancer," logged onto the Internet, and STILL didn't see it coming. Shall I go on? Shall I share with you some of the moronic things I've done, thought and said in my personal life? Of course I won't. I'm not stupid. I'm just humble.

GIM Followup

If you were reading my GIM post, I hope you'll enjoy these actual excerpts from the GIM realm:

"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some email." -- 4 year old girl, misquoting the Lord's Prayer

"I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old boy

"I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old

Thank you to those at Rinkworks for the smile I got reading these, and to those who put them up in the public domain.