Living Alive

"He not busy being born is busy dying."
-- Bob Dylan

Veils...

The veils begin to lift, you know, once defenses begin to fall.
Be vulnerable.
The Universe

image thanks to dreamstime

The Present - take 2

"We know nothing of tomorrow; our business is to be good and happy today."

-- Sydney Smith

Trust and the Bungee Cord

Trust with an open heart that things are possible. When we walk in the world from fear, speculation, avoidance and distrust, the baggage is like bungee cords that pull us backwards. Hold the vision of what you do want, ask for it, trust with an open heart; at least then you'll have a shot at reaching your vision.

On Thriving and Transformation

"You and I possess within ourselves, at every moment of our lives, under all circumstances, the power to transform the quality of our lives."

-- Werner Erhard

Campbell's Bliss, aka Gross, Subtle, Causal Alignment

"Follow your bliss. There's something inside you that knows when you're in the center, that knows when you're on the beam or off the beam. And if you get off the beam to earn money, you've lost your life. And if you stay in the center and don't get any money, you still have your bliss."

-- Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

What Type Are You?

Have you ever met someone who was just far easier to talk to after 11am than he/she was at 7am? Oh yeah, that'd be me - I'm a night-person. You bright-eyed bunny-hopping morning people make me crazy; how do you do it?? I simply can't cope with the sensory overload until after my system has had a chance to wake up slowly on its own. But give me a party that starts at 9pm or a social phone call that starts at 11:30pm and I'm good to go.

So, Gail is a night-owl. So what?

Not only am I a night-owl, but I'm an auditory, descendant, yin-in-relationship yang-at-work, sameness-processing, 2nd-tier (I think, generally), planning-oriented, INFJ, yellow-red, 6, American white girl. No, I didn't just drift into speaking spy-code, I just expressed my inclinations and my social education in terms of type.

So what?

The great thing about identifying your type across many subjects is that it gives you power - the power to choose circumstances that are a greater fit for you, the power to function more effectively as your Best Self, and the power (if you wish it) to cultivate the other type dynamic's skills. (thank you Frank Herzog for our pretty image of power in the form of a brunette)

However, let's be careful not to imagine we can pigeon-hole the complexity of humanity into a few letters and key words. We're dynamic; we change, we grow, we adapt to suit our circumstances; in infinite ways, we find ways to be unique. We're not simplistic two-dimensional robots who are always simple to categorize.

Meanwhile, I also propose that in the midst of our dynamism, we also tend toward preferred ways of being, in the same way some of us are right-handed and some left-handed. Even ambidextrous folks typically sign their name and eat with one hand or the other, and put their pants on one leg at a time.

In TIA - The Integrated Approach, we are invited to continually cultivate "both/and", rather than living from "either/or".

In this case, "both/and" means cultivating skills across multiple types, across multiple traditions, complementing the skills that we already hold and prefer and are adept with. We each naturally tend toward a particular type, as though we were dealt a hand of cards by the universe in our family, our genetics, our preferences, and our natural abilities. However, how many card games could we win if we always held a full deck of cards rather than the limited hand of cards we are dealt? Ha! With the entire deck we could win any card game we wish to play. Four aces, anyone? Anyone?

If you had your choice, would you walk around with one arm atrophied and limp with the other arm super-powerful? Or would you choose to cultivate and use both arms, even while one arm is stronger?

Likewise, in TIA we know that we have exponentially more power (the capacity to mobilize resources to fulfill the needs of ourselves, our families, our communities, and the world at large) when we are capable of choosing between two sets of skills rather than being hijacked and limited only having one set of skills. The pillar / module of TIA that invites us to this discovery and evolution is called, "Fully Expressed Energies" .

Also, by identifying our type tendencies we can identify our blindnesses, our biases, our unconscious expectations of what's "good, true, and beautiful". We unconsciously develop social biases by race, by country of origin or immersion, by gender, by religion, by political affiliation, by age... And when we remain passively isolated in this particular education or type-inclination, we inadvertently arm ourselves with a weaker, skewed, less complete perspective. It's natural to be inclined toward a particular niche, strength, or bias; there aren't enough hours in the day to enjoy an "occu-passion" and to cultivate omniscient mastery in all traditions' types. However, we can choose - as a form of play - to actively broaden our horizons from time to time by deliberately exposing ourselves to unfamiliar types, cultures, countries, and ways of being. I'm sure you've experienced the expansive fulfillment and value of getting out of your comfort zone at some point in time, haven't you?

Learning about type also is sane-making, in that it shows us "they're not crazy, they're just not us," and "I'm not crazy, I'm just not you." In exposing ourselves to a variety of type trainings we not only cultivate strength, choice, and power, we also cultivate compassion, tolerance, and acceptance of diversity.

From "Fully Embodied Energies", below you'll find a list of types from across many traditions. In each tradition, identify your niche preference / tendency. In each tradition, where do you tend to most often gravitate in your skills?

How much more powerful would you be if you cultivated *all* of the following type-skills? *

Here's to options and possibilities,
Gail


Are you dominantly - a night-owl or a morning person?
Are you dominantly - auditory, visual or kinesthetic? *
Are you dominantly - ascendant or descendant? *
Are you dominantly - yin or yang? *
Are you dominantly - sameness-processing or difference processing? *
Are you dominantly - left-brained or right-brained? *
In business / at work are you dominantly - a planner, manager, or a doer? *
In wealth are you dominantly an employee, self-employed, a business-owner or an investor? *
In communication, are you most often informing or directing?
Are you dominantly - (Spiral Dynamics center of gravity) 1st or 2nd tier? *
Are you dominantly - (Spiral Dynamics center of gravity across lines of development) red, blue, orange, green, yellow, etc.? *
Which Myers-Briggs type do you most identify with (E/I, N/S, T/F, J/P)? *
Which Personalysis type do you most identify with (red, green, yellow, blue)? *
Which Enniagram type do you most identify with (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 + a wing) *
Which world culture do you most identify with?
Which race, gender, political affiliation, religious training do you most identify with?
How old are you?
If you're a woman, which energy do you most often embody: queen, amazon, seductress, comedienne, nun, nurturing mother, whore, superheroine, bimbo, little girl.
If you're a man, which energy do you most often embody: king, warrior, lover, comedian, monk, nurturing father, gigolo/player, superhero, idiot, little boy.


* To learn more about types, or to cultivate your power and skill across types, enroll in a 12-session coaching cycle by calling 1.877.535.5438. I'll even throw in an additional first-hour for you for free, so we can discuss your goals and hopes for the study/practice and cater the program to suit your needs and intended outcomes. It's a toll-free call, so ring me today!

Decisions Decisions Decisions

“High achievers spot rich opportunities swiftly, make big decisions quickly and move into action immediately. Follow these principles and you can make your dreams come true.”

- Robert H. Schuller


I love this quote; to me it translates to "successful people make decisions quickly". Let's not make the mistake though of confusing wide-reaching, systemic decisions with low-risk, low-impact decisions that affect only a small circle in the system.

When I'm making general, day-to-day, low-impact decisions, I try to remember that I want to thrive, and life is short. So my practice is to notice when I'm hedging or dragging my feet, and just pick a choice. Just pick one. I realize I can always correct the handlebars on the bike if I find I'm going too far out of the way of my intended direction. But if I sit on the bike mulling over which direction to set the handle bars, I'm never getting anywhere.

More systemic-impacting decisions I'll take more time to do due diligence, but still, the idea is to inform myself to the best of my abilities in a reasonable amount of time and then choose, knowing I may always adjust the direction later if new information comes in.

A multi-millionaire I once worked with said, "Successful people make decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. Unsuccessful people take forever to make up their minds and then change their mind continually."

Hrm...should I or shouldn't I take this advice...hrm...let me think...

*wink*

How might I / you / we apply this to a more powerful, effective, thriving life for us, our families, our work places, and our planet?

Cheers to living alive!
Warmly,
Gail

Aristotle Quote - On Thriving

"Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. "

- Aristotle

Beginners' Mind

I hope this inspires you to live out loud as much it does me. Enjoy! Gail

NATASHA BEDINGFIELD - "Unwritten", lyrics

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Thoughts Are Things

Here's an excerpt from a recent email exchange, I hope and trust may serve you!

Warmly,
Gail

> > what we focus on we attract more of....

> would you educate me on that notion, oh obi wan?
> you've stated that sentiment before, i think i grok it
> intuitively, but i'd like to develop a better mental
> model for why that is true.

heh

i'll do my best to convey what i understand

• thoughts are things; law of attraction
  
• napoleon hill, think and grow rich
• what we focus on we attract more of - law of deliberate creation; abraham-hicks
• align your energies and providence will move to meet you - abbreviation of the Goethe quote below
• "for things to change, you have to change. for things to get better, your thoughts have to get better." - bill gouldd
• make a request - marshall rosenberg
• movie - The Secret

...

there are several ways i understand the truth to "thoughts are things".

one is that the subconscious mind is like a dog - whatever you tell it to do, it will obey without discrimination. we know in psychology that people subconsciously seek evidence to support the thoughts they choose to hold. ex: if i permit inner chatter that says "people are idiots", my subconscious mind will obediently take that in as truth, and i will now have an unconscious process operating that looks for where it's true that people are idiots, and filtering the world in those terms...i will inadvertently, unconsciously, look for evidence to substantiate my inner chatter....even if i'm immersed among amazing folks, my attention will be drawn to gloss over that and will instead seek out where they are being idiots, and who is the biggest idiot, because "idiot" is what i've inadvertently trained my subconscious mind to pay attention to...the result of my very obedient subconscious is that suddenly all i will experience is all the idiots around me.

now on the other hand, if i choose inner chatter that says "people are generally trying to do the best they can", my subconscious mind will obediently take that in as truth, and i will now have an unconscious process operating that looks for where it's true that people are doing the best that they can, and I filter the world in those terms...i will inadvertently, unconsciously, look for evidence to substantiate my inner chatter....even if i'm immersed among total idiots, my attention will be drawn to gloss over that and will instead seek out where they are doing the best they can, and i've inadvertently trained my subconscious mind to pay attention to that...the result of my very obedient subconscious is that suddenly all i will experience is all the ways the people around me are really doing the best they can.

by the way, we also have psychological evidence showing that how we think about others - without ever saying it - impacts how they behave. school children somehow know when a teacher has labeled them as 'trouble', even when the teacher tries not to reveal the judgment. and the children wind up living up to it. likewise, when managers perceive employees as lazy or unproductive, even the highest performers suddenly, inexplicably, decline in performance. the reverse is also true. when teachers label students 'gifted', the students eagerly try to live up to the label; when employees are considered 'assets', they are more likely to produce more positive output.

thoughts are things.

so knowing that this is in operation, i choose my thoughts and my beliefs very very carefully. when i find a belief that doesn't serve me i set immediate action in motion to rewire it. when i hear myself habitually pointing to what i do NOT like or something i DON'T want, i take immediate action to reframe it. ex: if i find a thought that says "i can't tell her, she'll have a meltdown", i realize that cultivating *that* belief as an unconscious process only reinforces my belief. so instead i'll try out "there IS a way i can tell her that she can handle...what is it?" and voila now my subconscious mind, obediently taking in that directive, will seek out answers, evidence, and substantiation for *that* belief. that's much more in my favor. so i choose to put my subconscious on the task of what i DO want at all times.

let's take this out of the subconscious and into something more practical. if i spend my time thinking about what i want, i then can take action to get it. if i spend my time only focusing on what i do NOT like and what i do NOT want...where will my actions go?

so bottom line, at the level of the tangible world, the gross-physical-body, i see a direct correlation between how we habitually think and how we act....and i see a direct correlation between (what we think and how we act) and (what kind of experience we have in the world). i see a 3-link chain, and in seeing it it holds weight for me. the 3-link chain goes like this:
- my inner chatter / self-talk / habits of speech / habits of thought plug into and (to a large degree) shape my subconscious mind
- my sub-conscious mind impacts/affects my actions, my decision-making processes, and my perception.
- thus, whatever is going on in my subconscious mind actually has the power to contort or shape what i do, what i ask for (or don't ask for), how i decide (if i'm clear about what i DO want, i can make more conscious choices in favor of it), and what i experience as "actual experience"

that's a mouthful right there.

ok ready for another layer?

next, i have an association not only at the direct/tangible/gross-body level, but also at the level of the miraculous / the indirect / the interconnected subtle-body fabric. let's call this the alchemy of intent/manifestation.

have you heard "align your energies and providence moves to meet you"?

(ever thought about a penny and then found 5 that day?)

ever heard people talk about the benefits of "affirmations"? ok affirmations alone don't always work, they sometimes need a bit more...but you may be starting to get a picture, right?

this picture may be easier to understand if you have experience with what i mean when i say the "subtle fabric".

without looking, speaking, or knowing, you can *feel* when someone walks into the room pissed off, hmm? or ever had a "sense" when someone was looking at you and look up and catch them square in the eyes?

if we imagine that there is such a thing as an invisible interconnected web between us all, a kind of energetic impact that we have (sometimes greater, sometimes lesser) on the world around us, then merely intending a thing with absolute commitment may help it become so.

(ex: a scientist finding an electron right where he "expects" it to be)...

if it's true that our thoughts can impact the physical world around us, then what do you want to be committing your thoughts to? "i worry about how the meeting will turn out"? or "i trust the meeting will turn out for the best?" do you want "i'm afraid you'll yell at me" or "i really want our conversation to be easy"?

in the physics concept of an electron showing up where it's expected - what if what's "real" is that all infinite possibilities exist in the universe simultaneously, but YOUR experience of the universe depends entirely on what you as the Life Scientist focus your attention on? which of the infinite possible electron locations do you *want*? just focus on it.

i've experienced alchemical miracles on many occasions, i experience more every single day, it's an active part of my life. but let's say i had not.

let's just say - hypothetically - *if* it were true that my thoughts, my emotions, and the alignment in me could actually impact reality (ex: a scientist finding an electron right where he "expects" it to be) - then baby i'm sure as heck going to select and choose my thoughts carefully. i'm going to be careful not to permit myself to inadvertently land that electron where i do NOT want it - i'm going to focus my attention and train my thoughts to put that electron where i DO want it.

ever see the movie Sphere?

next let's take a systemic look at how our thoughts impact our reality. when i think about what i don't like, what i don't want, what is not working, and what i'm bummed out about, my whole chest feels like it's going to cave in. i feel discouraged, depressed, down and out. this is *not* a productive or creative state of mind. ever try to come up with a resourceful solution when you're angry? it's hard! likewise, while my chest is caved in and my emotions are dragging across the floor i am NOT very resourceful to create the experience i want. i can't even be a positive contributor when i'm in that state.

so when i realize that my thoughts impact my state which impacts my capacity to be resourceful, i take responsibility for my every thought and every speech act. i limit my thoughts to what i DO want and what i WOULD like and what WOULD work for me.

ever heard of the Buddhist concept of "right speech"?

ever heard of the book "You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought"?

incidentally, people around me who want to contribute to me feel way better when i say what i DO want and what i WOULD like and what WOULD work for me - because then they have clarity about how to contribute to me. and they do. but when we habitually focus our thoughts on the opposite, we are not as strong in asking for what we DO want. and if we don't ask for what we want, how can others effortlessly know how to contribute to us? which isn't a small incident at all, in fact.

so again - thoughts are things. if i think "man i don't want to go hungry", and i'm in a contracted state of self-protection and fear, i'll be far less resourceful to take care of what i DO want, and people around me who feel uncomfortable with my self-protectiveness will be less inclined to contribute. on the other hand if i say "woo baby i'd really love a super-delicious hot and juicy meal tonight," now i'm a first step toward getting one - i can ask for it. now suddenly people around me are magnetized by my vision and gravitate to helping make it happen and enjoying it themselves. thoughts become things.

Finally here's that Goethe quote and a question:

"Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth...the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." http://www.goethesociety.org/pages/quotescom.html

If providence moves all sorts of things to meet you based on what you think -- then what are you committing your thoughts to?

If the ability to commit to a decision springs out of your habits of thought, what habits do you permit in the way you think? What do you choose to focus on?

Hope this helps!!!

thoughts?

love,
g